Transcript from tonight’s bedtime:

“Mommy, you kiss my hands? (Kiss)  You kiss my eyes? (Kiss)
You kiss my toes?… Oh two toes. (Double kiss)
You kiss my head? (Kiss)
You kiss my butt?”


“No. I don’t kiss your bottom,  G”

“DO IT, mom. Just do it. Kiss my butt to go night”

And I did. I literally just kissed my child’s ass to get him to go to sleep.